Those of you who read my blog in the past might remember me telling about the weird and wacky pranks my old friend, Oklahoma Earl and I used to perpetrate on whatever unsuspecting soul we came across.
    One of those was a project superintendent named Dan Ireland. Dan was born with absolutely NO sense of humor. I don't think I ever saw the poor bastard so much as crack a smile the entire time we worked for him.
    He was in charge of a machine installation we were doing in a meat processing plant in the midwest. I wasn't real fond of the work environment. Being surrounded by dead animals in various stages of disassembly is downright depressing.
    One hot summer afternoon we were preparing to start up the machine we'd finished installing, Earl gave me a nudge. "Hey Capt'n! Look what I found down on the cutting floor!"
    Earl was holding a bull penis in his hands. I'm not one who's easily shocked but I've gotta tell ya that damn near blew my mind. "Jeez Earl! What in the hell are you DOIN?"
    Just then Dan, the humorless superintendent appeared in the doorway across from where we were working. Earl turned around, stuffed the penis in his coveralls with a good portion of it protruding out in plain view. The expression on Dan's face was priceless. "Put that damn thing back in your pants!" He screamed.
    Earl looked him right in the face and without a hint of a grin responded. "Well piss on you, Dan! If I can't wave it around I'll just cut it off!" He opened his buck knife and sliced the end off the penis.
    Dan never admitted it, but I'd bet next month's mortgage payment he shit his pants.

    Staying in bed screaming "Oh God!" does NOT constitute going to church!

    Give me an "amen" brothers and sisters!
    I say . . . . GIVE ME AN "AMEN"!

    Happy Hump Day from Captain Morgan!

    (For all of you who have the good fortune to work only a five day week.)

    It seems like we live life in a kind of perpetual freefall from birth to death. We drop into this life propelled by the forces of time. In the beginning life is a torrent of simplistic concepts, but as the months melt into years the concepts grow more complex.
    Consider this: An infant learns to communicate, first non-verbally and then in words. A language comes to life inside the mind. The questions are never-ending, prefaced with a "why" and a "how". In a child's mind life is reduced to simple terms.
    Over time environment begins to shape our personality. We're like rocks in a streambed. The constant flow of our environment shapes who and what we are. Destiny and fate play a part as well. And we freefall toward our next destination.
    As we gradually migrate to adult life the world becomes more complex. The questions far outnumber the answers. Decisions remain unresolved. We work, we play, we form relationships and make countless choices that ultimately influence the continuum of time itself. And we freefall toward our next destination.
    Over time we laugh and cry and love and hate. Strangers become friends sometimes. We bond with what is comfortable. All too often we retreat into cocoons of the familiar and live life in the safety of our comfort zone. The questions slowly slip away. Time evaporates like the sun warming the fog lying across the bay. And we freefall toward our next destination.
    Learn to ride the wind. Dare to embrace the gravity that pulls us down to that final exit point. Read and study and perform random acts of brilliance and kindness. Celebrate the wonders of love. Taste the flavors life has to offer. And never let yourself look down.
    We all freefall together. Freefalling toward our next destination; an infinite port of call where past life and next life converge on a mystical conveyance known as the Hitchcock Railway.

planetdan

No . . . this's not a triple x-rated post; not this time. It's just another Blue Monday, the 30th if you're countin'. We're one week closer to spring, which means summer's not too far behind and it seems like a good time to celebrate another day of living with two of my favorite musicians. Here's hoping you enjoy it as much as I do and here's wishing each of you a peaceful, easy week.

You Are a Question Mark

You seek knowledge and insight in every form possible. You love learning. And while you know a lot, you don't act like a know it all. You're open to learning you're wrong. You ask a lot of questions, collect a lot of data, and always dig deep to find out more. You're naturally curious and inquisitive. You jump to ask a question when the opportunity arises. Your friends see you as interesting, insightful, and thought provoking. (But they're not always up for the intense inquisitions that you love!) You excel in: Higher education You get along best with: The Comma

I s'pose these quiz results fit well considering my propensity for asking questions. I'm easily fascinated and there's not much I encounter in my life that doesn't pique my curiousity. And so I leave you with . . . . what else??? A question, of course!