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Living and Dying in 5/4 Time


 Gone Fish'n
 

    My friend Rags loves to go fishing, but just HATES to go fishing alone. A few days ago he was in the mood to do a little fishing over at the Sandy River and insisted that his wife go with him. Now like anyone, she didn't especially appreciate his incessant nagging. The conversation went something like this:

Rags: Aw c'mon Jen! Go fishing with me!
Jen:   Honey, I TOLD you. I'm just not in the mood for fishing and besides I have plenty to do already.
Rags: Well! If you don't go fishing with me then give me a blow job.
Jen: (rolling her eyes and groaning audibly) Oh jeez! Men!
Rags: Either that or let me poke you in the ass. (As you can tell, my friend's not easily deterred.)
Jen: (with a look of resignation) Alright. Come over here and pull down your trousers.

A few minutes later........

Jen: Good grief! Your penis tastes like shit!
Rags: Oh yea! I s'pose it does. The dog didn't wanna go fishing either.

Posted by Captain Morgan at 7:06 PM - 12 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 In Pursuit Of Equality
 

You Are 100% Feminist
You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man).
You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.
I've heard the theory that women are from one planet and men from another. I've listened to all the crude comments about women who choose a traditionally male profession and not coincedentally men who choose a profession tradionally female. I've met guys who were completely blown away because the woman they dated was too aggressive in bed, or actually had rational opinions of their own. And to all of it I say . . . . "WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT???" Good grief. From my quiz results it is easy to see where I stand on the issue. Now it's YOUR turn. Feminist or tradionalist?
Posted by Captain Morgan at 11:55 AM - 30 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Ancient Eyes
 


   
    One night many years ago, as I was returning home from a job two states away, I stopped to pick up a young hitchhiker. He climbed into the cab of my truck and sat silently riding through the darkness with me. Suddenly he reached into his pocket, pulled out a Buck Knife and demanded that I take him to a destination about twenty miles on up the road.
    I remember silently staring at him, wondering why he felt he needed to threaten me in such a way. "Why", I thought to myself, "doesn't he just ask?" I recall feeling a whole series of emotions at the time. Fear, of course. But almost more than that was a mixture of anger and bewilderment. Anger because I have an aversion to being threatened. Bewilderment because not to long before I'd vowed to the gods I worship that I would never again bring harm to another. And now, here I was faced with an incredibly tense situation that I very well could have done without.
    A short while later I exited the freeway and came to a stop in front of a ramshackle house a few blocks off the main street in a sleepy little farming town. It was where the young man requested to go. As he gathered his belongings and climbed out of the truck he mumbled an apology, insisting he really didn't mean any harm.
    I was silent. There were no words in my head. I just nodded and gave him a faint smile. Somewhow I couldn't help sensing there was more standing there in there in the darkness than I could easily understand. He slammed the door shut and I watched him stumble up the sidewalk. He was obviously tired and strung out. I considered my options, I could follow him and beat the dickens out of him. I could follow him and spend a few minutes screaming at him about how stupidly he was conducting himself. I could turn the whole situation over to the local sherriff. None of the options felt comfortable to me and I drove away. Somehow I saw an amazing parallel between his actions and what was going on in 'Nam at the time.
    Since then I've seen that same senseless scenario play out many times. Lives lost in the course of some pointless act. Gang wars between groups of kids in cities and towns. Kids killing kids in school, the last time just yesterday at Virginia Tech. Wars in the Middle East. People killing people in the Sudan and in Ireland and a hundred other places around the world.
    Tonight there's a cold rain falling from the sky. They're ancient eyes crying. Ancient eyes watching and waiting. Waiting for us to finally reach our destination.
Posted by Captain Morgan at 8:21 PM - 20 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Sun & Moon
 

You Are From the Moon
You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon.
You're in touch with your emotions and intuition.
You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory.
Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone).
A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.
What Planet Are You From?

    It is said the gods once argued the value of the moon. Why not create the sun and be done with it? What good is the moon? It is desolate, cold and hard. The sun is liquid and perpetually warm, a source of sustenance for the entire galaxy.
    After much consideration they reached their conclusion with the help of a simple, solitary musician transitioning across the cosmos, moving from a life long since terminated to a destiny defined by time and space and substance . He was tired, hungry and lost.
    The gods were intrigued. Movement from one dimension to another was generally
simple, a straightforward proposition. This soul had lost his way. It happened without their knowledge. It was most unusual. How had this mortal anomoly slipped so easily through the celestial cracks and from where had he come? There he was. Cold and tired and alone.
    They summoned him and questioned him at length. “From where did you originate, and what is it you carry in that aging leather bag?”
    “I am the sum of your parts. You created me. Convinced I didn’t meet your
expectations, you cast me out. The gods of another universe collect junk souls. I was retrieved by them.”
    He’d been paired with a lost and beautiful soul. They were mates in the purest sense. A delicate balance of past, present and future. She was majestic, warm and possessed a fiery spirit. He was cool, reserved and often silent. When she was flying too high it was he who brought her lower. When her passion flamed out of control it was his reserve that cooled her fever. And when the sounds of too many voices threatened her sanity it was his silence that gave her solace.
    Over time one of the gods grew desirous of the majestic female soul. Though she shared no feelings for the god, it was irrelevant. She was faced with a difficult choice. If she chose to leave the musician and give herself to the errant god her lover’s soul would be spared. Otherwise he would be banished to an unknown galaxy, never to be encountered again.
    She reluctantly agreed and the musician’s soul was spared, but only temporarily. Upon consummation of their union the god banished the musician to a foreign galaxy. The fiery maiden lashed out with a fury even the gods could not stem. The errant god lay vanquished at her feet. The intensity of her fury destroyed all that surrounded her. Suddenly she was alone in the universe.
    She was trapped in one galaxy, her soulmate in another. In a twist of vicious irony the galaxies moved closer, parallel, yet seperate. The musician and his soulmate were separated by time and space, yet visible, each to the other.  The musician’s soulmate eventually succumbed to the ravages of loneliness and anger. She decided to end her life. She had no knowldege of her immortality. Death was impossible.
    She was trapped, or perhaps not. In a final burst of anger and sadness she summoned all her strength and brought about her own demise, or so she thought. With her soul no longer part of the galaxy it broke apart and disrupted the spacial relation to the parallel universe sadly inhabited by the wandering musician. It was not what she had intended. She was forever gone and her soulmate was destined to stumble aimless and alone through the night skies.
    It was in that moment the lost and lonely musician shared his solitary wisdom with the gods. They came to appreciate the importance of the sun and of the moon. One without the other would be a vast disruption threatening the very soul of the universe. As payment for such valuable advice the gods created a new soulmate for the musician. It was the death of an aging ending and the birth of a fresh, new beginning.
    A single ebony flute lay sleeping, tucked neatly deep in an aging, leather bag slung low on the shoulder of a simple, solitary musician.

Posted by Captain Morgan at 8:00 PM - 38 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Blue Monday
 

Spring brings with it all manner of new and wonderful stuff and reawakens a lot of what has lay sleeping through the winter. Same goes for the old captain's mood. So I've decided to resurrect a favorite tradition known as Blue Monday and include it in my blog. Every Monday I'll share with you some blues that's not often heard and hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Tell me what you think. And not to worry. I'm in a dangerous mood and you just gotta KNOW what that means. There'll be many a ride on the Hitchcock Railway and the occassional tantalizingly erotic tale of amazing proportion. Yes, pleasure does come to us in many forms and I'll do what I can to kick it up a notch or two every chance I get. For now, listen, enjoy and have a MARVELOUS Monday!
Posted by Captain Morgan at 11:54 AM - 2 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: Captain Morgan
From Vancouver, WA, USA
Age: 59
 
This blog is about...
Viewing life through the window of the dining car on the Hitchcock Railway.
 
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